Free AI website audit
How roastable is your business?
Our AI audits your website, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google listing, Amazon page, or storefront like a brutal growth consultant — then tells you exactly what’s costing you customers. Free score. Feelings not included.
Free score in ~60 seconds. No card.
The roast · runs right here
Drop your business in. Get the truth.
Website, Instagram, Google listing, Amazon page or shop front — one blunt score and the exact fixes. Free. Feelings not included.
How it works
Three steps. About sixty seconds.
Drop your business in
Website URL, or screenshots of your Instagram, LinkedIn, Google listing, Amazon page, or storefront. 10 seconds.
AI runs a real audit
20+ hard checks — SEO, branding, conversion, trust, domain age, email setup — scored against a fixed rubric. No vibes.
Get roasted (usefully)
A Growth Score out of 100, a proper roasting, and the exact fixes — ranked by impact.
Change my thinking
Not vibes. A fixed rubric.
Deterministic checks run first — meta tags, CTAs, performance, analytics, domain age, email DNS records — then the AI grades against a fixed, versioned rubric. Same site, same bar, every time. Here’s the kind of thing it catches:
“‘Welcome to our website’ is the headline. Congratulations — that’s the one sentence every visitor already knew.”
Why it matters: You have about 5 seconds to say what you sell and why it’s good. A greeting instead of a value proposition sends buyers back to Google.
“The phone number lives in a footer image. An image. Customers can’t tap a JPEG.”
Why it matters: Every extra step to contact you loses ready-to-buy customers — especially on mobile.
Help me choose
The truth is free. Now choose who fixes it.
Do it yourself
- Run the free roast and read your score and findings
- Work through the fixes yourself, one by one
- Re-run the roast to check what changed
Have us by your side
- Send us your roast — we turn it into a fix-it plan
- We implement the fixes: website, SEO, listings, socials
- You get the result, not a to-do list
Questions, roasted.
Straight answers. Mild burns.
Is the roast really free?
Yes. The roast is free — no card. You get your Growth Score, a proper roasting and the fixes that matter most.
How does the AI score my business?
Deterministic checks run first — meta tags, CTAs, performance, analytics, domain age, email DNS records — and the AI grades against a fixed, versioned rubric with calibration anchors. Same site, same bar, every time.
What can you roast — just websites?
Five things: your website (URL), or screenshots of your Instagram, your LinkedIn company page, your Google Business Profile, or your physical storefront. Each gets its own scoring rubric.
Who is behind Business Roast?
GrowthLife — a real digital growth team. If you’d rather have humans implement the fixes, every report has a button for that.
Will you roast someone else’s business?
No. You confirm it’s your business (or that you have permission) before every roast. We roast businesses, never people.
We fix this
for a living.
Business Roast is built by GrowthLife. Tell us where to reach you and we’ll turn the roast into a fix-it plan, done for you.
Real humans. We answer the same day.